Day 1

An expiration date. That's what I feel like he handed me yesterday. I've been battling breast cancer for 6 years already... we thought we had gotten to the part where we could finally breath. I could finally feel safe in my own skin. That was a month ago. And in an instant... a tiny .33 mm mass in my knee brought it all back. I forged on. I started radiation that week.... You don't know me yet but I am literally the most positive person on the planet. Not in a omg, this woman is crazy and has no idea what's going on positive but my glass has never been half empty...when it gets low.. I add Bacardi! For six years I've refused to let cancer win. Refused to let it even slow me down. But for some reason, this time is different. For some reason... this morning looked different. I spent last night scared. I spent last night on my what if's, I cried, I drank, I cried some more, I brought the kids in bed with us and layed there watching them sleep. And then it hit me... this is God offering me a gift. I have 1825 days to make it count. And in the end of those 1825 days, when I beat this damn cancer and I've run out of days to countdown. I will have changed not the world around me, but the world WITHIN me.
I've never blogged. I've never even considered it. But should this fight be one I don't win... I wanted my children to be able to look back on something and be able to say that their mother went down fighting. That she made ever second count. So here's what I'm thinking... I'm going to do something for someone else, every single day and in the end, I would have done 1825 things to change my own life. So I'm off.. for Day 1.