Feeling almost like a new person today! Found out Friday that the meds are working. He changed a couple to help with some of the side effects. My parents arrived Saturday and my dad got right to work on his honey do list. So thankful for a dad that is handy! My mom started right in helping with the cleaning, the kids, the extra jobs I had assigned to her. I'm able to lay down when I feel tired and not have to worry that the kids are missing out on something. The kids are all home on break for the next two weeks so the house is buzzing with Christmas excitement. And we're actually going to attempt to go out with friends tomorrow night for dinner to celebrate my birthday on Wednesday ... woohoo!
So the daily count... today I was able to give someone a job. It felt amazing to know that I was able to help her get into something she likes, that fits their one car situation and that will help them with their Christmas! And she seems to really like it. It's a little less for us but A LOT more for their family. When she hugged me and thanked me, it felt great!
It's snowing here in the artic of Colorado. It was 67' yesterday and we were driving with the windows down, today it might be 20'! YUCK!!! Give me a margarita and some sand in my toes anyday!!! First step...beat cancer... second step.. move someplace warm all year!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
December 15
Hi strangers!
So it started with a computer virus, that spread to my laptop and then a phone that refused to access the internet. I now know what it would be like if the end of the world comes in the form of no technology! On top of all of that, the new meds have made me so sick. I'm not used to this. In the past, I've been able to take the medicine or go to chemo and still push through. Not this time. It's like I've hit a brick wall. My body has said no more!
I'm having a really hard time with updating today. I'm sitting here, stairing at the computer screen thru tears. I'm frustrated and I'm hurting. I'm scared and I'm angry. I'm so tired of being tired. I sleep all the time and wake up feeling like I've had no sleep at all. I have a constant headache now that will not go away. It hurts so bad that I want to cry more but that of course makes the pain worse. My body feels as though I've run a marathon, my muscles are sore and tense, my back aches and my vision has changed. It is hard just to make it thru the day. I'm trying to be my normal positive self but if I'm honest with you.. it's not working. I HATE being sick. I HATE not being able to play with my boys and do homework with them. I HATE missing work because I hurt to bad to get out of bed. And I HATE fighting with my husband because I can't take care of the things that I'm used to taking care of myself. But more than anything... I freaking HATE CANCER and I hate that it picked me. AUGHHHHHHHH..... and I hate feeling sorry for myself.
Let's change the subject... so I have done some good in the midst of this over exaggerated pity party... we said goodbye to a very dear friend who died way to young at the age of 31. We were able to open our home up to his friends and family for the funeral. We were able to help a young couple with baby items for their new little one. I was able to help a struggling couple find a nice apartment within their budget and get them moved in. I'm determined to get back on my days that count... doing something for someone else definitely helps take the focus off of me and my situation. Sometimes, praying for someone else in the middle of your own storm, helps your storm feel a little less like a hurricane and a little more like a spring shower. I know this "shower" isn't close to being over but I'd sure love to focus on something other than me for a few minutes. But, if it's not asking to much, I could use some prayers. Not just for healing but for my spirit because it has felt broken all week.
To Texas tomorrow... I'll be blogging from the airport.
So it started with a computer virus, that spread to my laptop and then a phone that refused to access the internet. I now know what it would be like if the end of the world comes in the form of no technology! On top of all of that, the new meds have made me so sick. I'm not used to this. In the past, I've been able to take the medicine or go to chemo and still push through. Not this time. It's like I've hit a brick wall. My body has said no more!
I'm having a really hard time with updating today. I'm sitting here, stairing at the computer screen thru tears. I'm frustrated and I'm hurting. I'm scared and I'm angry. I'm so tired of being tired. I sleep all the time and wake up feeling like I've had no sleep at all. I have a constant headache now that will not go away. It hurts so bad that I want to cry more but that of course makes the pain worse. My body feels as though I've run a marathon, my muscles are sore and tense, my back aches and my vision has changed. It is hard just to make it thru the day. I'm trying to be my normal positive self but if I'm honest with you.. it's not working. I HATE being sick. I HATE not being able to play with my boys and do homework with them. I HATE missing work because I hurt to bad to get out of bed. And I HATE fighting with my husband because I can't take care of the things that I'm used to taking care of myself. But more than anything... I freaking HATE CANCER and I hate that it picked me. AUGHHHHHHHH..... and I hate feeling sorry for myself.
Let's change the subject... so I have done some good in the midst of this over exaggerated pity party... we said goodbye to a very dear friend who died way to young at the age of 31. We were able to open our home up to his friends and family for the funeral. We were able to help a young couple with baby items for their new little one. I was able to help a struggling couple find a nice apartment within their budget and get them moved in. I'm determined to get back on my days that count... doing something for someone else definitely helps take the focus off of me and my situation. Sometimes, praying for someone else in the middle of your own storm, helps your storm feel a little less like a hurricane and a little more like a spring shower. I know this "shower" isn't close to being over but I'd sure love to focus on something other than me for a few minutes. But, if it's not asking to much, I could use some prayers. Not just for healing but for my spirit because it has felt broken all week.
To Texas tomorrow... I'll be blogging from the airport.
Monday, December 5, 2011
SORRY
Sorry all NO internet access till Sat 12/10/11. Will update blogs at that time. Thanks for checking back!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Day 10
Hello! So today was amazing! The walkers completed Day 2, 40 miles behind them and 20 more to go. The beautiful Karen Turner was on the injured list and I had the privilege of walking the last 6 miles with her. What a blessing. More than ever, I know I want to walk next year. Watching and cheering from the sidelines is great but the people who meet and the stories they share while walking are so incredible!
So my feet and my knee hurt but only a little and it was totally worth it!!!! I made an amazing new connection and I made today count!
Now...home to ice my knee, rest, medicate, sleep and cheer them on tomorrow!
So my feet and my knee hurt but only a little and it was totally worth it!!!! I made an amazing new connection and I made today count!
Now...home to ice my knee, rest, medicate, sleep and cheer them on tomorrow!
Day 10
Day 2 of the Susan G Komen 3 day walk for a cure has already begun. The walkers had to be the starting line at 6:30 this morning. The "support crew" as we refer to them for Jordan's school documentary more commonly known as the "Tit Crew" (play on pit crew for those of you still waking up) are up and getting ready at the condo. They try to be at every cheer station, pit stop, of course lunch and finish line each day. Cheering on not only our own walkers but the other 5,000 people walking to save their mom, daughter, sister and fathers. Men make up 1% of those affected by breast cancer!
Not sure what my Day 10 will bring. I'm going to continue the documentary, continue talking to people and asking them to share their stories with me. I've had people tell me that my attitude is inspiring but for me, these are the inspirations. The people who walk not out of their own need for survival but for the need of those they love. I am in awe of each of you!!!
Special shout-out to Mrs. Suarez... you're texts always come at exactly the right time, even if my phone died! Love you girl! Okay.. it's still early...make today count, I want to hear all about it!
Not sure what my Day 10 will bring. I'm going to continue the documentary, continue talking to people and asking them to share their stories with me. I've had people tell me that my attitude is inspiring but for me, these are the inspirations. The people who walk not out of their own need for survival but for the need of those they love. I am in awe of each of you!!!
Special shout-out to Mrs. Suarez... you're texts always come at exactly the right time, even if my phone died! Love you girl! Okay.. it's still early...make today count, I want to hear all about it!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Day 9
Rough start to the morning... headed over to the ER around 5:30 am. Confirmed case of strep throat and strep in my right kidney. IV antibiotics, steroids and pain meds on board. A couple of prescriptions and I was out of there! I actually spent the rest of the day cheering on the walkers for Day 1 of the 3 Day. It was so amazing to see almost 5,000 walkers all with one goal... to END BREAST CANCER!
So first...the reason for the blog.... again today was more about what people gave me, not what I was able to do for them. I talked to over 30 people and they allowed me to share their story. Who they were walking for, who they walked in memory of. I prayed with several. I hugged even more! It was incredible that they would allow me inside their world and share their stories. Jordan will have a lot of tape to use for his documentary.
My great news for today... I was accepted into the clinic in Houston!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Half sick, very medicated, I sat in shock as she gave me the good news... so in just a couple of days.... we're Houston bound! And this came to mind today.. it's one I've posted more than once on my fb page but I've been holding onto this one for awhile now(thanks gorgeous Jessi Olson)
"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, I will try again tomorrow.”
So first...the reason for the blog.... again today was more about what people gave me, not what I was able to do for them. I talked to over 30 people and they allowed me to share their story. Who they were walking for, who they walked in memory of. I prayed with several. I hugged even more! It was incredible that they would allow me inside their world and share their stories. Jordan will have a lot of tape to use for his documentary.
My great news for today... I was accepted into the clinic in Houston!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Half sick, very medicated, I sat in shock as she gave me the good news... so in just a couple of days.... we're Houston bound! And this came to mind today.. it's one I've posted more than once on my fb page but I've been holding onto this one for awhile now(thanks gorgeous Jessi Olson)
"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, I will try again tomorrow.”
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Day 8
Hi happy followers! So I'm sick :( Fever, bodyaches, sore swollen throat. I arrived safely in San Diego around 1:00 local time and have been in bed since. The hug from my mom was so nice. I hadn't seen her in a while and it made me realize how much I missed her and how much comfort her arms offered. As we walked out of the airport, I felt like somewhat of a celebrity. The Boot Scootin Boobies were there to welcome me to California and each of them had cameras pointed my way. I love you guys but I looked just awful! If I'm going to feel like a celeb, I'm going to need full hair and make-up....
So as I came down the stairs to blog... I admitted to everyone that I felt awful. I've been sick and with the exception of throwing up on the guy in the seat next to me on the plane, I really haven't done anything for anyone else. They all told me that coming here, even sick had made their day and that I had given them that. I think they're all just trying to be nice but today, I'll take it. As soon as I post this, it's back to bed. Early to rise... the walkers have to be there at 6:00 am and the support staff (I'm one of those) will follow shortly after.
I have to be honest, I'm a little apprehensive. I am looking forward to this so much but I know that emotionally, it will be hard. My mom started this because of me. These ladies walking with her, without knowing me, love me. There will be other fighters and survivors there. There will be those who did not win their fight heavy on our hearts. And I will be there .... in the midst of my greatest battle... fighting to survive, fighting to be here to raise my children, fighting to be a wife, daughter, sister and friend...
We get the big news tomorrow... acceptance to the clinic in Houston... I'll update each of you as soon as they call! Thursday's almost over... did you make it count?
So as I came down the stairs to blog... I admitted to everyone that I felt awful. I've been sick and with the exception of throwing up on the guy in the seat next to me on the plane, I really haven't done anything for anyone else. They all told me that coming here, even sick had made their day and that I had given them that. I think they're all just trying to be nice but today, I'll take it. As soon as I post this, it's back to bed. Early to rise... the walkers have to be there at 6:00 am and the support staff (I'm one of those) will follow shortly after.
I have to be honest, I'm a little apprehensive. I am looking forward to this so much but I know that emotionally, it will be hard. My mom started this because of me. These ladies walking with her, without knowing me, love me. There will be other fighters and survivors there. There will be those who did not win their fight heavy on our hearts. And I will be there .... in the midst of my greatest battle... fighting to survive, fighting to be here to raise my children, fighting to be a wife, daughter, sister and friend...
We get the big news tomorrow... acceptance to the clinic in Houston... I'll update each of you as soon as they call! Thursday's almost over... did you make it count?
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